Tarot Isn’t Here to Tell You What You Want to Hear: It’s Here to Bring You Back to Yourself!

If you spend any time in tarot spaces online, you’ll notice the same questions being asked again and again:

“Is my boyfriend cheating on me?”

“Will he come back?”

“Is he thinking about me?”

Every time I see these, a part of me aches—not because of the question itself, but because of what sits beneath it.

Tarot is a tool of truth, embodiment, accountability, and inner clarity. It came into my life at the same time I was learning about codependency, and I’ve always seen it as a bridge back to your body. Back to the signals, intuition, and boundaries you’ve been taught to disconnect from.

But asking tarot to confirm whether someone is cheating or whether they’ll return isn’t actually about truth.

It’s about seeking permission to avoid the truth you already feel.

Let’s really talk about that.

Why We Ask Tarot About a Partner’s Behaviour

When someone asks “Is my partner cheating?” the surface question is about betrayal.

The real question is about safety, worthiness, and fear of loss.

And usually, if you’re asking, it means one of three things:

1. They are cheating—or something in the relationship is deeply off.

You’re picking up signs, behaviours, inconsistencies. Your body is alert and signalling something isn’t right. Tarot isn’t needed to validate what your nervous system already knows.

2. They’re not giving you the emotional security you deserve.

Even if they’re loyal, you don’t feel safe. You’re unsure, anxious, or destabilised within the connection.

Healthy love doesn’t make you obsessively search for clues or ask cards for reassurance.

3. You’re in self-destruct mode because it feels easier to fear the worst than to trust the good.

This is the quiet, painful version.

The one where you have something good, but you don’t quite feel worthy of it.

So you pick at it. Scan for danger. Wait for it to collapse.

The fear of losing love becomes louder than the ability to receive it.

In all three cases, the issue isn’t whether someone is cheating.

The issue is codependency, nervous system dysregulation, and not trusting what your body already knows.

Tarot Should Never Replace Your Inner Voice

Here’s the truth that most don’t want to face:

If you felt grounded, secure, valued, and connected to yourself…

you wouldn’t need the cards to answer that question.

Tarot is not meant to be a shortcut to bypass discomfort.

It’s not a crutch to hold up a relationship that’s draining you.

And it’s definitely not a tool to give you the answer you hope for while ignoring the answer you feel.

Tarot shows patterns, dynamics, lessons, energy.

But the wisdom comes from you—your body, your intuition, your boundaries, your truth.

The cards simply translate what you already sense but don’t feel ready to acknowledge.

How Codependency Shows Up in Tarot Questions

When you ask a deck to tell you what someone else is thinking or doing, you’re handing away your power.

You’re saying:

• “I don’t trust my own intuition.”

• “I need external validation to make choices.”

• “I’d rather hear a comforting message than face an uncomfortable truth.”

• “I can tolerate uncertainty in a relationship but not inside myself.”

This is codependency at its core:

seeking safety outside of yourself, instead of within.

The deeper question isn’t:

“Is he cheating?”

It’s:

“Why am I willing to stay in a dynamic where I constantly feel unsafe?”

The Real Invitation Tarot Offers

Instead of asking whether someone is cheating, ask:

• Why do I feel so anxious in this connection?

• What part of me feels unsafe, unseen, or undernourished?

• What am I avoiding by focusing on their behaviour?

• Where am I abandoning myself?

• What boundary needs strengthening?

• What truth is my body already telling me?

Tarot becomes powerful when used as a mirror, not a microscope.

It’s not about predicting someone else’s actions.

It’s about revealing the places where you need healing, grounding, clarity, or courage.

Your Body Already Knows

Your nervous system knows the difference between secure and unsafe.

Your intuition knows when something is off.

Your energy knows when it’s shrinking around someone.

You don’t need tarot to confirm a truth that’s already living in your body.

What you might need is permission to listen to yourself.

Tarot isn’t here to predict the actions of another person.

It’s here to bring you into deeper intimacy with your own.

It’s here to guide you out of codependency and back into sovereignty.

To help you break cycles, not repeat them.

To support you in choosing yourself, not waiting for someone else to choose you.

That’s what the cards are truly for.

And that’s the kind of relationship with tarot that creates real change